I'm not going to be so hard on myself. A few days before the New Year I had psyched myself up with all the things I plan to accomplish....everything from making my own sweater to saving the world and everything in between. For some reason as soon as we finished cleaning up the trash from the New Year's eve party, I felt completely lost. I didn't want to pick up the camera (not like I have for the past couple of months anyway), I didn't want to exercise, I just didn't want to do anything. And it had only been 24 hours in. What is this sense of uselessness and forsakeness that has washed over me. Is this sensation synonymous to postpartum depression? I have somehow given birth to the New Year filled with hope and prosperity and yet I ...I ...I just don't know. BTW...this has no bearing on my future responsibilities as a parent. I promise to be the best mom ever.
I shook that off quick. Nothing like a bucket of self doubt and downright lazieness to dampen a fresh start on life. I mentally reviewed the list I threw together from those moments of invincibility and will be kicking my own butt to get more focused. Main goal: pick up the damn camera and shoot! I can't believe how I have been slacking off on this. That will change this year. I had gotten extension tubes with the gift card I got from my wonderful friends and coworkers. I've been playing around with it a little bit here and there, but have been unsuccessful in getting the eye shot since my "model" refuses to sit still for me. But below is a picture of a lily petal I took with the extension tube. I am going to have to find a different subject. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
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